Childe Mayhem to the Royal Division Came

Though dressed immaculately in black trousers and a matching sweater, our referee may as well have been running around her domain in her nightgown like a certain 18th century king…A Crimson King, she was locked out of her domain, dwelling deliriously on a balcony she could not escape, never to regain control of the Dark Tower, or her mental faculties. But she would do her best to deny the gunslingers of Project Mayhem, and the low men (and women) of Cock-Tails, ascension to the top of the Tower.

“Is that the Crimson King?” co-Dinh April asked.

“Yes,” James replied. “Locked out of the only thing she ever wanted.”

“Then maybe we could go right up the stairs and past her. Give her the old raspberry on the way by.” And when James looked puzzled at that, April put her tongue between her lips and demonstrated.

This time the gunslinger’s smile was faint and distracted. “I don’t think it will be so easy.”

James, last in the line of Eld, was justified in his apprehension. Even before the first shot rang out, the Crimson King loudly proclaimed that no one would strike out, nor would anyone be awarded a walk. With all but fouls irrelevant, judicious application of the bunt led to pitch counts of 7-8-3. But wait, the Red Goblin would make a special exception for taut Mayhemer Chris, who doth protest too much. Like any delusional unaccountable sovereign, the Crimson King’s arbitrary foul/fair calls went forth, in an orderly cadence that attempted to put truth to the lie that she had any grasp of this great game. O, Discordia!

The bemused Breakers of Cock-Tails took it all in stride, gaining a 4-1 lead on precision kicking through the 2nd Inning. The maddeningly inconsistent, and tantalizingly sexy, Mayhemers looked like they were headed for the clearing at the end of the path, but our Dinh would not stand for this.

On Field B, James looked first at Sarah Ahren(s) Mehta, then at Enrique Chumbes. “They’re coming, and this is where we have to take them. Wait for my command, then stand and be true.”

In the top of the 3rd, the gunslingers remembered the faces of their fathers. Unholstering their legs like the antique shooters with sandalwood grips, Project Mayhem kicked fair, putting in five runs. Though several gunslingers were lost in the battle, the quest for the Tower continued, as the tag-ups on fly balls were true, and yet not called back by the Crimson King.

From the bottom of the 3rd onwards, our ka-tet would allow the Tails only one more run. Charlie Pitcher released his balls and, as if they were Oriza’s chiming in his sack, they scythed through the air, decapitating the Cocks’ attempts at rejoinders. In one memorable inning, Charlie scooped up two of the low men’s balls to close it out. Don’t lob soft bunts near Charlie!

We no longer feared the mad monarch and, as James texted the absent Jenny Marie, “You’ll be with me when I climb the stairs, you’ll be with me when I deal with yon capering Red Goblin, and you’ll be with me when I enter the room at the top.” Yet Jenny went to Atlantis-Japone, not the Inch.

There was rejoicing, but James’s joy was tempered by the sacrifice (flies) that fallen Mayhemers made in this victory, and on this long road (like Dharma in Field A’s canyon):

So far I’ve traveled, he thought with his hands splayed on the ghostman base. So far I’ve traveled and so many I’ve hurt along the way, hurt or killed, and what I may have saved was saved by accident and can never save my soul, do I have one. Yet there’s this much: I’ve come to the head of the last trail, and I need not travel it alone, if only Tyler will go with me. Mayhap (Mayhem!) there’s still enough to fill my basket.

With Abbye, Jeff, Brooke, Doug, Joanna, Hemen, Dawn and Jon in tow, James’s basket is indeed full, but hungry still…

Michelle asked, “Dinh, with our ka-tet broken, will we still reach the Tower?”

“We’ll go,” James said. “We’ll find the Dark Tower, and nothing will stand against us, and before we go in, we’ll speak their names. All of the lost.”

Cuthbert, that guy named Paul who showed up once, Cynan, Susan Delgado, and Robert Paulson.

Mandy had this last warning for her fellow gunslingers of Project Mayhem: “Watch out for Dandelo.”

Would they heed it?

Final Score: Project Mayhem 7, Cock-Tails 5

Project Mayhem (in maroon) faces off against (and loses to) the Banana Hammocks.

Banana Hammocks Left Swinging in the Wind...

Note: Project Mayhem is the name of the Kickball team I was on, DC Royal Division, Fall 2004. Kickball's rules are similar to baseball, although there are only 5 innings. This game, our first win, took place on September 1, 2004. We were previously 0-2.

In a seesaw affair, the Bananas took an early 2-0 lead. Project Mayhem played an inspired 3rd inning, leaving them up 5-2. The Hammocks responded in kind, with strong kicking that unnerved the Mayhemers' fielding unit. At the end of the 4th, it was 6-5, Mayhemers. In the 5th, the battle was truly joined. PMer Jeff opened up the inning with a lead-off home run. The Mayhemers scored a couple more runs, and then it was the Banana Hammocks' turn. Our Captain, J. Carter, bellowed, "3 UP!!!..." to which we responded "3 DOOOOWN!!!!" Now, our leader's talk may have sounded like so much hot air, but it is not without historical precedent...

There once was a Captain named Carter
Who was a stupendous farter.
When the wind wouldn't blow,
And the ship wouldn't go,
Carter the Farter would start'er.

With their ship thusly righted, Project Mayhem came through with a 5th inning shutout, on the strength of Charlie's pitching. The Bananas, though peeled, did not split, instead gaining a measure of revenge in flip-cup. Yet, like the Grinch's heart, the beers they chugged were Two Sizes Too Small!

Final score: Project Mayhem 9, Banana Hammocks 5

Origin Story

Usually these are signs of desperation, trotted out as a big event, to boost flagging readership. That said, I actually thought Wolverine's Origin story wasn't bad.

This is just a small forum for me to post any writings that I come up with, without fear of needing to edit them. I've posted some on more public sites, and others will fall through the ether.

These first few are just summaries of events I took part in recently -- kickball games and political discussions/shisha sessions. As such, I don't expect this to be regularly updated, but we shall see.